Young Woman Shares the Story Behind Her Life-Altering Decision
Kaylee Muthart, a young woman from Anderson, South Carolina, has revealed the circumstances that led to a devastating decision that changed her life forever.
During her high school years, Muthart was a dedicated student, earning top grades and even being recognized by the National Honor Society. However, after leaving school at 17 during her junior year, she faced personal and academic challenges. While working long hours to save for a car and managing a heart arrhythmia, her academic performance declined. Rather than risk further setbacks, she decided to take a break from school, with aspirations of later earning a scholarship to study marine biology, a lifelong dream of hers.
By the time she was 18, Muthart had begun drinking socially and using marijuana regularly while maintaining a part-time job. She was aware of addiction issues within her family and was cautious about experimenting with stronger substances. However, when she smoked marijuana with an acquaintance at age 19, she experienced an unusual and intense high, which she later suspected was due to the substance being laced with a more potent drug. The experience heightened her spiritual beliefs, making her feel closer to God, but it also led to a sense of betrayal when she realized what had happened.
As a result, she distanced herself from that acquaintance and left her job. Over time, her situation deteriorated—she struggled to find employment, increasing her substance use to cope with emotional distress. She began taking Xanax to alleviate anxiety, but after a painful breakup, her mental health declined further. Seeking a sense of peace, she eventually experimented with methamphetamine for the first time. The drug triggered intense hallucinations, and during one episode, she compulsively picked at her skin until she bled.
Ashamed of her self-inflicted injuries, she began isolating herself and ultimately lost her job. Despite attempting to avoid methamphetamine, she eventually connected with a roommate involved in drug distribution. She later experimented with ecstasy, during which she spent time studying the Bible, but misinterpreted its messages in her altered state. Convinced that methamphetamine could bring her closer to God, she resumed using it and, within two months, progressed from smoking to injecting the drug frequently.
Her mother, deeply concerned for her well-being, attempted multiple times to have her admitted to a rehabilitation center or psychiatric facility. However, without legal proof that she posed a danger to herself, she could not have her committed. Muthart reassured her mother that she was in control, though in reality, her addiction had intensified. She eventually agreed to seek treatment, and her mother secretly recorded their conversation, hoping to use it as evidence to obtain a court order for her commitment.
However, before she could be admitted to a facility, Muthart consumed an exceptionally high dose of methamphetamine. The following morning, still experiencing severe hallucinations, she wandered along a railroad track, overcome by delusions. In her altered state, she believed that making a personal sacrifice was necessary to restore balance to the world. Convinced that she had to act immediately, she inflicted a traumatic injury upon herself, removing her own eyes with her fingers.
Her cries for help were heard by a pastor who intervened and restrained her, preventing further harm. He later recalled that when he found her, she was still holding her damaged eyes, though they remained partially attached. Emergency responders arrived and transported her via helicopter to Greenville Memorial Hospital, where doctors performed surgery to remove what remained of her eyes in an effort to prevent infection and preserve her optic nerves.
While recovering in the hospital, Muthart was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Despite the immense challenges she now faces as a blind person, she has chosen to embrace a positive outlook on life. She has since committed to staying drug-free and remains determined to pursue her dream of becoming a marine biologist.
Reflecting on her journey, she expressed gratitude for having found a new path forward. “Losing my sight was what it took to bring me back on the right path, but from the bottom of my heart, I’m so thankful to be here,” she said.
For those struggling with addiction, support is available. In the United States, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration can be reached at 1-800-662-4357. In the United Kingdom, confidential advice and assistance are available through FRANK at 0300 123 6600 or via their website at talktofrank.com.
